Once I got home, I laid down for a little while and then Garrett asked if I would run an errand with him. We went to Salem (I fell asleep in the car) and on the way home I told him I was going to take a pregnancy test. I didn't actually think there was ANY chance I truly was (considering there was only one miraculously tiny chance it could have been true..and even that was FAR from what I thought was my ovulation time), but I told him I just wanted to take it because if, by any chance we actually were, I thought it would be fun to find out on our anniversary.
When we got home, (I had to pee anyway) I ran into the bathroom quickly grabbing an extra Dollar Tree test (you'd be surprised how well they work!). At this point Garrett was on the other side of the house. He recently had the city where we live come in and change out all of our lightbulbs (an energy saving thing where we live), so at first the lights in the bathroom come on very dim, and they gradually get to about the brightness of a tanning bed. :/ Once I did what I needed to do, I left the test sitting on the floor and went to wash my hands thinking there was no way it would be positive anyway...after all, I was just doing it for fun...
When I went back into the bathroom, I glanced down and then suddenly decided to get VERY close to the test, because what seemed to be a faint pink line was slowly forming on the test window. I immediately thought, "NO WAY. This is NOT possible. I must be reading this wrong." I yelled for Garrett to come in the bathroom to verify the results. He hesitantly walked towards the bathroom with this little smirk on his face. I asked him to, "Look right down there at that test. Tell me if you can barely see a line." He looked down and said that he didn't "barely" see anything and that there was definitely a line. His next response, "Do it again." I told him I didn't think I'd be able to pee again but I'd try. Got enough to do another test and sure enough, another positive line appeared.
At this point we just kind of sat there and stared at each other. Garrett was the first one to start beaming and telling me, "We're pregnant! Can you believe it?!!?!?" I responded more with something that sounded like, "I don't think we can do this. This is not the right timing. The plan.....blah blah blah." Then we just got super excited together!
Our original plan was to start trying in June of 2011 so that I could teach another school year and we'd have an extra year of my salary, plus Garrett would be graduating the following year for WOU and it seemed like good timing. The funny thing is that God always has a way of gently (or shockingly!) reminding us that HE is in control and our will must be conformed to His perfect one for our lives if we truly are surrendering to Him...
Having a baby around August would/will mean that this is now my last year teaching, and we will have larger family while Garrett is still in school. I'm such a crazy planner that I am so thankful that God reminds me constantly to let go and takes the reins out of my hands. I immediately started thinking about how August was the only month that I never wanted to have a baby in because I didn't want to have to decide to send them to kindergarten at 5 or wait until they're six...I hate summer clothes and love winter clothes...in fact, I don't even wear summer clothes in the summer when I'm not pregnant, so I'm having a difficult time visualizing how great I'm going to look in August...I wanted my hair to be longer when I was pregnant...I wanted to use these next six months go to continue with the Insanity exercise program in order to look amazing by the time I actually did get pregnant...I didn't want Garrett to be disappointed with the surprise...didn't want him to wish we had a longer period of "just the two of us"....was looking forward to another year of working at the school and teaching kids who need me...was hoping to pay off more on our house before I started staying home...
and then suddenly, in the midst of what I like to call "my processing time" my brain regained perspective and it suddenly hit me how very very thankful I am for this little life. August actually sounds like just the perfect month to bring a new person into this world. We will cross the kinder bridge when we get to it, God will provide financially as He is always faithful to do, and my husband is ecstatic. I'm going to miss a lot of things about my job and the kids and families there, but my baby wins that work/stay home battle every time it comes into my head, no matter how many pros there are on the work side. I am praying hard through these next few weeks (and through the whole thing) that everything goes right and their are no complications.
Thank you Jesus for our baby. Please keep it very very safe inside of me for the next 8 months. Please give us wisdom and strength to be Godly parents that would make you proud, and please help this little life to serve You all the days of it's life.
Today is Saturday, December 18th. According to the online tools that tell me how far along I am, I'm about 5 weeks. Supposedly six on Monday. My first appointment is January 13th when I'll be about 9 weeks and really looking forward to hearing a strong little heartbeat.
The night of the 13th, once we finally got in bed, Garrett just couldn't stop smiling. I'm so thankful he is so happy. What a wonderful husband I have. Thank you God for him. You always know exactly what I need.
We have told a few close friends about the pregnancy, but are waiting until Christmas to tell our families. I'm planning on buying some little baby socks and making these cute little tags that say, "Looking forward to meeting you in August 2011!" and then putting them in our parent's stockings. I can't wait!
Please please let us get through the next few weeks....Thank you, thank you, thank you God for blessing us in this way. ---We'll take it anytime, any day, no matter what our "plans" are. :)
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